


Forgiveness

by lemonade_zest



Category: Given (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Closure, F/M, Light Angst, Like, Not Canon Compliant, Oneshot, akihiko low-key assaulted him, haruki stands up for himself, mentioned sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29820891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonade_zest/pseuds/lemonade_zest
Summary: A bit of a re-write of the ending of the movie.(Or: Haruki stands up for himself)
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki, Kaji Akihito & Nakayama Haruki
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Forgiveness

“The reason I wanted to make changes in my life was because… I wanted to become a man worthy of your love!” 

The declaration hit Haruki like a ton of bricks, he physically felt like someone punched him in the gut, the wind taken out of him. His face flushed bright red, and he lamely attempted to hide it in his arms, letting out unintelligible noises. After all this time, he was getting exactly what he wanted: respectful reciprocation. 

“Haruki… Haruki, may I touch you?” Akihiko’s hand lay flat on the grass, and by the way it was flexed Haruki could tell he was physically holding back from making contact with him. Part of him wanted to say no (to see if this time he would listen), but Haruki’s overwhelming emotions overtook any and all logic in that moment, so he relented.

“Sure,” he said softly, voice barely above a whisper. He couldn’t look Akihiko in the eyes. His own eyes were wet, and though there could be a hundred reasons why, he couldn’t pinpoint a single one. Akihiko didn’t touch his shoulder comfortingly or cup his face like Haruki was expecting, no, he forcefully wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. Taken aback once more, Haruki didn’t quite know how to react, so he simply didn’t.

“I love you,” Akihiko said hesitantly, “please go out with me.” If the earlier statement hit Haruki like a ton of bricks, this one felt like an entire brick building collapsing on top of him, forcing all the air from his lungs. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he held back a strangled sob. He didn’t know what to make of it. “Sorry… I rushed that,” Akihiko apologized quickly, perhaps sensing Haruki’s inner turmoil. On one hand, Haruki had pined after this man from a distance for years, constantly dealing with the fact that he likely had another lover he chose not to speak of (and Haruki’s suspicions had been confirmed to be true eventually). On the other hand…

“I-I… what the hell, Akihiko?” Haruki had never heard such an angry tone from himself. 

“What?” Akihiko let go of Haruki as if he had burned him, leaning back to look him in the eyes.

“What the  _ hell _ , Akihiko!” His voice came out more strained the second time, but the anger was just as prevalent. “After what you… what you did to me? It’s not just gonna be fixed like  _ that _ .” He snapped his fingers to signify “that”. Perhaps if Akihiko had not forced himself on Haruki all those months ago Haruki would have accepted, finally gaining what he wanted. But Akihiko  _ had _ crossed that line, and because of it their relationship was forever changed. So many times Haruki had tried to excuse his actions as drunken and confused, and he knew that Akihiko was just taking out his anger,  _ but that wasn’t a viable excuse, just an explanation _ .

“I… understand,” Akihiko replied calmly. He had considered this outcome, Haruki realized. “I am sorry. Sincerely.” Akihiko’s eyes were squeezed shut, his hands clutched in tight fists, his jaw clenched. He was frustrated, but not at Haruki. He was frustrated with himself. He had spent time atoning for his actions, Haruki recognized, but still, Haruki had been hurt. 

“I’m just… I’m not ready for anything like that. Not with you, not right now….” Haruki said, voice far more calm and composed, his outburst over. Haruki restrained himself from saying “sorry”, because after months of mulling it over, he knew he had nothing to be sorry about. Akihiko was the one who should be sorry, and he was, and Haruki appreciated that. “I’m glad you’ve been working on yourself, I respect that, I just….”

“I get it. You don’t have to explain, Haruki. I... know I hurt you.” Though the lines were rehearsed, Haruki could tell by their soft and raw nature that the sentiment was genuine. This was something Akihiko had long considered in his time alone.

“That doesn’t mean that one day I won’t be able to give love another try,” Haruki said honestly, “I just… not yet. I’m not ready.” Akihiko nodded, lips pressed firmly together. Haruki wiped his face with his hand, tear stains dried on his cheeks. Then, gently, he moved forward and hugged Akihiko. 

He knew he didn’t owe it to him, but Haruki was ready to at least forgive Akihiko. He was not alright with his actions, and his forgiveness of them didn't mean everything was going to be sunflowers and daisies moving forward, but it was a start. It was something. For Haruki, it was closure, and for Akihiko, it was a step forward. Both, at that moment, were okay with that.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Haruki, but Akihiko needs to do more than just say "I changed for you!!!!" to earn Haruki's trust back. Like, he legitimately forced himself on Haruki, and though nothing went too far, it was still messed up. Them just... being in a relationship after that doesn't make sense to me (at least, that quickly). So... I re-wrote it, because Haruki deserves better.
> 
> Basically... I liked season 1 Haruki/Akihiko better. It was less toxic.


End file.
